Choi Sun-gil

Sung-jin nim’s mother Choi Sun-gil

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I married Sung-jin’s mother in accordance with Heaven’s will. I did not marry her just of my own free will. I receive the command from the spirit world. She was also following instructions from the spirit world when she met me. Her name was Choi Sun-gil. The meaning of the Chinese character for choi (최) is “high.” Sun (선) means “first,” and gil (길) means “happy.” It’s like a boy’s name. Why did they name a girl Sun-gil? It was something the spirit world instructed them to do. Her name meant she was to be the first person to be happy. She was to be the first happy woman. It meant she would be more blessed than anyone else connected with God’s providence.

Sung-jin’s mother is a very smart lady. She’s extremely good, and she is good around the house as well. The Choi clan was quite a famous clan in the Chongju district. She was the daughter of the head family. She was thrifty as well and being extremely strong-willed. She didn’t like to be indebted to anybody. She graduated from elementary school, with only seven or eight years of schooling in all.

It was Heaven’s will that we met. Even from the worldly point of view, Sung-jin’s mother should have realized that there was nothing more important than her husband. Despite her shortcomings in every area she needed to adapt to the situation. She should have willingly accepted any sacrifice that might have resulted from her husband’s working for the larger purpose. From the individual point of view, I chose Sung-jin’s mother to be my bride because I thought the greater our differences, the more God’s will would benefit.

She had a strong Christian faith. She was a model Christian. From that point of view, she represented the world and Korea, not in the position of a male John the Baptist but in the position of a female John the Baptist. The mission of Christianity was to prepare the bride for presentation, connecting her to God’s will. Sung-jin’s mother even spent some time in prison because she refused to bow to the Japanese Emperor’s shrine. I had found that kind of woman, that kind of virginal woman.

I was the twenty-fourth person to be suggested to her as a potential husband. The person trying to find her a husband had searched throughout the whole district for a suitable man. Sung-jin’s mother’s family was also spiritually open. They had prayed with my photograph and had been taught by the spirit world. They received many revelations at that time. They saw two mirrors appear, in the east and in the west. In the center of heaven they became one; from its center, the sun rose and shone its light all over the world, and the moon and all the stars in the cosmos from the east, west, south, and north surrounded it. Under the light shining from the moon, all of creation was transformed into a flower garden. They received many incredible revelations like that.

After praying, they were taught all these things. In light of this, do you think she had some other man in mind? No, she was determined to marry me.

A woman—a distant aunt twice removed or so—just appeared one day because she felt determined to find a match for her nephew. She was quite a famous matchmaker. I like joking and I used to like teasing her. [Laughter] If I was hungry she would buy noodles for me. So I said to her, “If you are such a good matchmaker, why don’t you go ahead and try?”

Soon after that, I left my home town. Somehow or other, with this and that, it was a year and eight months before I returned. I thought that since I had been out of town, enough time had passed that the lady might have married someone else; she might not be interested in me. On the contrary, when I arrived home, my aunt yelled at me and said the lady was so charmed by me she had resisted marrying another man. She only wanted to marry me. [Laughter] As soon as I arrived my aunt said, “Let’s go,” and walked ahead of me. My mother came, too      I became a topic of conversation in my

town. As I recall, about five of us, including my uncle, went to the lady’s house…

Meeting the prospective in-laws

We arrived from Seoul at night and walked twenty-eight kilometers without sleeping. The road was not even paved; there was a lot of gravel on it. It was horrible to walk twenty eight kilometers in shoes. When the sun rose, we could see an inn. We went there and asked where such and such a person lived and the innkeeper said her house was the one right in front of his building. The house was a good, tile-roofed house. It was the biggest house in the village.

I offered a bright greeting to the owner of the house, “Please forgive our rude intrusion as passers- by.” Can you imagine my being so cheeky? Can you be so bold if you have walked all night long? “Could you please give us a room? I have not slept for three nights.” My mother and aunt slept in one room and the others slept in a room in another part of the house. Because I was a prospective groom, they allowed me a room to myself.

However, we hadn’t even woken up by noon the next day. [Laughter] The owner of the house had already prepared breakfast. What could she do? We finally got up around one-thirty or one-forty. I folded my bedclothes and washed myself, since it was someone else’s house and she had already prepared a bowl of water and some salt to clean my teeth. By the time I finished washing, it was already two-thirty, so I had no choice but to eat something. I quickly ate everything they had prepared for me. I didn’t leave a thing. I asked her for some water and even some fruit for dessert, which they had not prepared.

A rumor began circulating. News that a prospective groom had come to see and interview the potential bride spread quickly all over the Choi village, which had about a hundred and fifty houses. The villagers talked about all kinds of things, such as how long the candidate-groom had slept…

I wanted to know how magnanimous they were, so I asked them to cook a chicken for me. They had to catch and cook all the hens they had. They even caught a distant relative’s hens for my family.

They probably caught about fifty hens in all! So many people came to visit and eat with us. One ate and left; then another ate and left. [Laughter] Then we had dinner. I had gone there to meet the prospective bride but I didn’t say anything about meeting her. What kind of person acts in that way? [Laughter] I just told some interesting stories. [Laughter] I told them how Tokyo was and how the Japanese lived. I told them everything. I spoke until two o’clock. I mean two o’clock in the morning.

Engagement (December 1943)

It was past three in the morning. Past three! I thought that I should not wait to take some action. So, I said, “Though it’s very late, please let me meet your daughter.” I may have been the first prospective groom to ask to see the bridal candidate at three o’clock in the morning on the issue of marriage. I asked her to come in and had her sit down. I asked everyone else not to leave. Then I led them into a pleasant mood. I spoke about how school is, and other things…

Then I arranged to meet them the next day, when I would test them in earnest. If I stayed with them for two days, which became three days… If someone stays for more than three days, he is sure to be spoken ill of. [Laughter] So, I asked them detailed questions, and told them I would go the road of the Unification Church. I went as far as telling her that she may have to live alone for five years after the marriage and that it might end in five years or seven years. Even at that time, I told her she should be prepared to live alone. Knowing her own situation at that time, she was in the position where she had to accept everything—that was the price, wasn’t it? She had to meet whatever this other person asked. She said she would do anything. In this way, we married.

After the engagement ceremony, I returned home. And so we were engaged in December. Sung-jin’s mother was nineteen.

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